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Managing your emotions

Learn how to take charge of your emotional health with these practical and effective tips.

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Photo by Joel Naren from Unsplash.com

When life, or the people in your life, push your limits, the emotional load may feel insurmountable. Making sense of the chaos in your life can allow you to rediscover peace and joy, but circumstances like a world crisis can complicate the process of emotional healing.

“Almost nobody is trained on what to do with their emotions in times of crisis and stress, and most of us are never taught how to manage our emotions in normal times,” said Eric Paskel, who holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology and is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. “If you’ve ever admired someone who was cool under pressure then you know it’s possible to emotionally survive, and even thrive, in a crisis.”

Paskel, an author and motivational speaker, spent 34 years exploring how human beings can rise above their dysfunctional tendencies and control their emotions. He has developed a series of resources to help individuals prevent their emotions from owning them in a crisis, allow people to do more observing and less reacting and take decisive actions to help themselves and their loved ones.

Learn how to take charge of your emotional health with these practical and effective tips.

Be Open to Learning

During a crisis is when personal growth is most possible. During adversity and crisis, there are always lessons to be learned and shared. Sometimes growth comes as the result of overcoming the pain of a crisis, but there are other sources of growth.

To accelerate your growth, begin by recognizing you need help then be willing to accept that help. It may come in the form of advice from a professional or it may be simply listening to the perspective of others with similar experiences.

Look for Opportunity

A simple change in perspective like a crisis or a forced change, such as having to work from home, is both a challenge and an opportunity, although the challenges and benefits will likely be different for each individual person.

Some people will benefit from the isolation, which they’ll see as solitude. Some will be challenged by a noisy home while others will be thrilled to have the company of family or roommates all day. The key is to find a way to turn those challenges into gold.

Begin by identifying your challenges. Then find the silver lining. What are the benefits that come with these challenges? It may be that your rigorous travel schedule allows more time at home or that you’ve been able to tackle a long-standing list of lower-priority tasks. Then choose to focus on the positive and find ways to adapt to the challenges. Use your former commute time to practice yoga or exercise. Buy noise-cancelling headphones to reduce distractions. Find different strategies that work for you.

Embrace Self-Sufficiency

Being self-sufficient is critical to your personal and emotional freedom and a crisis can serve as an opportunity to become more self-sufficient. Being self-sufficient means you’re able to manage yourself and have sovereignty over your body and mind. It means your thoughts and emotions do not control you; you control them.

Consider the example of an ending relationship. If you’re codependent, the end of that relationship is more likely to devastate and destroy you. If you’re self-sufficient, as painful as the end of a relationship or a life situation may be, you can let it go and move on to the next chapter in your life.

Find Joy

You can always find joy, even in the midst of change, confusion, chaos or crisis. Celebration comes from the way one chooses to see, perceive and be in the world. However, you may have trepidation about celebrating and having joy when others are focusing on negativity or you see suffering in the world around you.

Confetti flying and champagne bottles popping isn’t what defines joy; joy comes out of positivity. Celebration comes out of acknowledgements and affirmations, and out of your sense of freedom and purpose. Finding joy is not just for joyous moments. Embracing joy and celebrating in challenging times can help reframe your mentality about what challenges really are and help provide longer-lasting positive effects on your body and mind.

Know You’re Not Alone

You may think you’re alone, especially during hard times, but when you understand it’s a matter of creating relationships and making connections, you’ll never feel truly lonely again. Whatever it is, the difficulty you’re going through isn’t unique to just you. Once you understand that other people have been through your problem, you will be able to understand that you have a large pool of connections and help.

Just connecting with other people who’ve had the same experiences can give you an emotional tailwind to push you forward. Recognize that feeling alone is a warning sign that you need to reach out to loved ones. Daily maintenance, contact, connection and working on relationships can help keep you from feeling disconnected from the world around you.

Learn how to manage your way through troubling times and become part of the solution at ericpaskel.com.

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NewsMakers

How to get the best wedding photos ever

Finding the ‘right’ photographer for your wedding is a bit like dating; you can’t make a decision only after checking someone out online. A photographer’s portfolio might be really polished, but you can’t get a real sense of their personality or emotional intelligence. It’s wise to meet with a few photographers or videographers, either in person or via zoom, before you make a final decision.

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Photo by Joel Overbeck from Unsplash.com

According to The New York Times, 2022 will be the biggest year for the wedding industry since 1984. After two years of delays and cancellations, everyone is going to the proverbial chapel to tie the knot. One of the most important elements for many couples are the photos and videos, preserving this special moment forever.

“In the end, having tangible memories you’ll cherish for years to come is a better investment than party favors or fancy table linen,” said Rachel LaCour Niesen, Head of Market Intelligence

A graduate from the Missouri School of Journalism, LaCour Niesen forged a career as a professional wedding photographer and photojournalist where she developed the first CRM for pro photographers. While still continuing her passion in professional photography, LaCour Niesen also serves as Head of Market Intelligence at ShootProof, a platform used by 300,000 photographers to share, deliver, print, & sell their photos. Just in the last year, Shootproof managed wedding galleries received 2.8 million visits per month – and that number is anticipated to grow in 2022. 

Her advice when shopping for a wedding photographer? “Finding the ‘right’ photographer for your wedding is a bit like dating; you can’t make a decision only after checking someone out online. A photographer’s portfolio might be really polished, but you can’t get a real sense of their personality or emotional intelligence. It’s wise to meet with a few photographers or videographers, either in person or via zoom, before you make a final decision.”

For one of the most important days in someone’s life, Rachel has a few “dos” before you say “I Do”

  • Ask friends and family for recommendations. “Word-of-mouth referrals are a great way to curate a list of prospective photographers and videographers.” says Rachel. “After all, your friends and family know you better than anyone else.”
  • Spend time viewing their online portfolios. According to Rachel, “a lot of people can take a few great photos or videos. To tell a more complete “story” of a wedding celebration requires more skill, patience, and thoroughness.”
  • Look closely to see if the photographers and videographers you are interested in have shot weddings in many types of lighting conditions. “It’s pretty easy to capture stunning photos outdoors during “golden hour,” around sunset,” Rachel remarked. “But it’s much, much harder to capture stunning photos in a dimly-lit event space like a hotel ballroom or dance club.”
  • Ask whether photo products are included in their booking fee and/or package price. “To me, every couple should end up having a wedding album or book–a tangible one, not just an online slideshow,” Rachel said. “I still have copies of my grandparent’s wedding photos hanging in my home. They inspire me and bring back so many memories of our family stories. Plus my son is now curious to hear about his great grandparents too and I can point right to those photos and use them to spark conversation.”

Wedding photography does not just document the union itself, but all the family members and friends who came together to celebrate. “Sometimes, the most cherished photo is not that ‘kiss the bride’ moment but that last family image with a beloved grandparent. Weddings are those precious occasions where people rally together in a grand act of joy.”

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Health

How can the self-employed tackle burnout? Expert shares top tips

Self-employed people such as business owners or freelancers may be more susceptible to burnout due to long working hours and the weight of responsibility that they carry.

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Photo by Nubelson Fernandes from Unsplash.com

With workers returning to the office in their greatest numbers since the pandemic, the number of people suffering from burnout or stress-related illnesses is also on the rise.

Self-employed people such as business owners or freelancers may be more susceptible to burnout due to long working hours and the weight of responsibility that they carry. 

For many work and life have become intertwined, fortunately, Private Rehab Clinic Delamere has shared tips on how you can tackle burnout when self-employed and the common signs.  

How you can tackle burnout

1. Set Goals and Priorities

Having a mountain of work, with no plan in place to move forward can sometimes feel overwhelming. It can help to take a step back to assess which of your tasks need prioritising, and which ones will help you to achieve your goals.  

2. Speak to Your Colleagues or Clients

Being honest with the people that you are working with or for, about your mental health can often make things a lot a lot easier. You may be surprised at how understanding other people are of your situation.

By being open with others, you will have a better understanding of what to expect from each other, meaning that you will have a stronger professional relationship going forward.

3. Ask for Help

Never be afraid to ask for help if you feel that your stress is becoming too much to handle and you start to show signs of burnout. Getting external advice through counselling or therapy can give you a new perspective on a situation to guide you through any problems.

If you do not feel comfortable with counselling, then simply reaching out to friends and family can be enough to help you talk through your problems.

4. Schedule Time-Off

Sometimes when work life is becoming too stressful, all you need to do is take a short break from it all. Returning to work after a much-needed break can give a person a more positive mindset.

Those who are self-employed are often in charge of their own schedule and can over look the need to take holidays. In fact, some surveys have shown that nearly one in ten business owners go up to five years without taking a holiday.

5. Consider Changing Things

If your line of work is causing you constant stress and it feels that there truly is no way out, then it may be worth considering if you are genuinely following the right career path for you.

It may be the case that you do not need to change your career path altogether, but that your daily work routine simply needs to be altered. Consider making small changes such as your place of work. If you are stuck in an office or at home all day, you may benefit from finding a co-working space or coffee shop to work in.

Sometimes changes can be as simple as investing in new equipment or simply taking more regular breaks from your working day. By implementing these small changes you are less likely to burnout from stress.

6. Put Self-Care First

Work-life can be demanding, especially for any self-employed people who are under pressure to meet deadlines for various clients. However, when we demand too much of ourselves, it can be damaging to our physical and mental health.

Remind yourself that you come first. Maintaining a healthy sleeping and eating pattern, while keeping up a rewarding social life and strong relationships is more important to your mental well-being than anything you do while on the clock. 

Spotting the signs of burnout

1. Feeling Tired All The Time

If you are waking up feeling exhausted and find that you are still feeling drained even after you have been awake for a few hours and a cup of coffee in your system, then this may be a sign that you have burnout.

2. Lack of Motivation

During burnout, a person may find themselves completely withdrawn from their workplace or work tasks. Simply going through the motions while at work without any kind of motivation – or taking no joy whatsoever from your accomplishments at work – could indicate that you are experiencing burnout.

3. Recurring Health Problems

A person suffering from burnout may experience frequent and recurring headaches and muscle pains, as well as feelings of indigestion and stomach aches.

4. Feeling Irritable

Finding yourself easily irritated or frustrated, even by small things, and then snapping out at others is a possible sign that you are carrying too much stress from work.

6. Self-Deprecating Feelings

When someone is suffering from burnout it can have serious effects on their mental health. A person can have a heightened sense of self-doubt, feel like a failure and even experience impostor syndrome.

A person with burnout may also experience increased feelings of isolation and detachment from their colleagues, friends and family.

7. Increased Procrastination

When burnout occurs a person may find themselves avoiding their responsibilities, regardless of how small those responsibilities may be. Instead, a person will fill their time with procrastination and indulging in comforting distractions.

8. Coping Mechanisms

During burnout, a person may be more likely to turn to other comforts and coping mechanisms such as comfort eating junk food or even consuming alcohol and/or drugs. Engaging in any habit excessively to cope with stress may be a sign of burnout.

9. Change in Sleeping and Eating Habits

Stress can mess with our natural cycle and someone who is experiencing unnaturally high levels of stress may find that their sleeping habits are altered as they end up staying up late and sleeping in.

A person may also find themselves skipping or avoiding regular meal times, having a loss of appetite at some points in the day, or craving comforting junk food at others.

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Nutrition

Tips for great grilling

Follow these easy tips for even tastier meals.

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Photo by Myles Tan from Unsplash.com

Grilling is so fun and delicious – clearly a high point of any summer.  Follow these easy tips for even tastier meals.

  1. Start with a clean grill. 
    Starting with a clean grill will allow the flavor of whatever you’re cooking to shine through and not mix with flavors left behind from whatever you grilled last. It also helps prevent food from sticking. Clean the grill with a sturdy brush while it’s hot, as it will be much easier to clean.
  2. Oil the grill grates. 
    Oiling the grill grates will help prevent lean meats from sticking to the grill. Pour oil on a paper towel, then use tongs to rub the oil on the grill grates – don’t use cooking spray as it will flare up.  Or try this fun grill hack: cut a potato in half and rub the cut side of the potato on hot grill grates, this will make the grill naturally non-stick!
  3. Always make sure your grill is hot. 
    Adding food to a hot grill will give it a wonderful sear on the outside, while keeping it perfectly juicy in the center. It will prevent food from sticking to the grill, and it’s important for cooking safety. 
  4. Use an instant-read meat thermometer to check for a safe and desired temperature. 
    You always want to make sure that food on the grill is cooked to a safe temperature. Use an instant read thermometer to make sure meat is cooked to the proper temperature. Food safety is extremely important, as undercooked food can cause illness.
  5. Use a grill basket. 
    For foods that might fall through the grates and cause flare-ups, use Basquettes. These are incredibly handy for grilling vegetables, seafood, fish, kabobs, stuffed sliders, cheese and fruit. You can use Basquettes with a top so you can flip a whole basket of food over in one motion.
  6. Always let meat rest after removing it from the grill. 
    Depending on the meat, allow it to rest for at least 5-15 minutes before slicing into it. A large piece of meat, such as a tri tip will need more rest time than a smaller steak, like a tenderloin. Resting the meat allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat for a juicier, more tender piece of meat and tenting under foil helps keep it warm.
  7. Experiment with different cooking techniques.
    Grills can easily become smokers or rotisseries! Make a flattened foil packet of aromatic hardwood and pierce it a few times. Use your Basquettes with the legs on and slip the foil packet beneath. Or put the baskets together and make a rotisserie cage for delicious chicken!
  8. Know whether to cook your foods directly or indirectly. 
    Smaller pieces of meat, like a New York strip steak, that take 20 minutes or less to cook should be grilled over direct heat. Large pieces of meat, like ribs, that take more than 20 minutes to cook should be grilled over indirect heat.
  9.  Add sauce to meat at the end of the grilling process. 
    Adding a glaze or barbecue sauce, especially one with sugar, too early in the cooking process can cause your meat to burn and stick to the grill. If you plan to baste meat with a sauce or glaze, do it in the last 5 minutes of cooking, if the total cooking time is 30 minutes or less. If the total cooking time is over 30 minutes, baste the meat in the last 15 minutes of cooking time.

Bonus tips!

  • Never flatten meat with a spatula when it’s on the grill. This will release all of the juicy flavor in the middle of the meat.
  • Avoid putting cold foods on the grill. Bringing meat to room temperature for 30 minutes will help it cook more evenly.
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