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Getting the support you need before and after pregnancy

Support is important during and after pregnancy for the physical and emotional health of the mother and her baby. Here are good ways to find the shoulder you need and lean on it.

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Pregnancy is a crucial stage in every woman’s life. She experiences significant changes in her body, physically and mentally. You may not always be prepared for what comes your way, and you will need a support system to help you get through these changes well.

Support is important during and after pregnancy for the physical and emotional health of the mother and her baby. Here are good ways to find the shoulder you need and lean on it.

Pregnant Moms Support Groups

This is probably the first thing that comes in mind when you think about pregnancy and support. Pregnancy support groups are actually a great way of getting all the information and help you will need to get through your pregnancy.  Support groups like these are made up of pregnant women like you who are going through the same experiences and changes.  You get to discuss issues surrounding your pregnancy, any problems you may be facing and how to solve them. 

 If you are a first-time mum, you will find these groups incredibly helpful in assisting you to cope with the situation, find the best ways to make your pregnancy a pleasant experience and anticipate the birth of your child.  Being a first-time mum can be very overwhelming, primarily because of all the changes that occur physically and emotionally. While your close friends, family and partner may do their best to be there for you, they may never really understand how to help you. Not as much as the pregnant women in your group will. Ask around, and you’ll probably find one such group in your neighbourhood. If there isn’t, you can always start one!

Professional Support

Most people only think of getting professional emotional support when they are going through something serious like mental illness or depression. It is, however, essential to understand that psychologists and psychiatrists are there not just to treat mental illness, depression, anxiety and stress but also to offer emotional and mental support to those who need it.

Take a look through your local network of doctors and professionals( or shrinks, as some people prefer to call them), and you’ll likely find some who can offer invaluable prenatal and postnatal support for your situation in particular.  The ideal doctor would be a woman who has been pregnant before, but it should not come as a surprise if a man or a woman who hasn’t been pregnant before offers you support.

Here you can confide in them and tell them everything that is bothering you in both physical and emotional aspects, and they will, in turn,  help you find solutions and give you much-needed advice to get through your pregnancy.  Professional support is necessary before and after birth. 

Family and Experienced Women

Sometimes but the best advice comes from people who have been where you are. It could be your mother, sister, neighbour, co-worker, friend or any other woman who has been pregnant before. Make use of this network of women to get the emotional support you need.  They can give you priceless advice and tips on things that may not be known commonly. 

Your mother may learn a trick to help with morning sickness or back pain.  Your sister could show you a nice place to get food that is healthy and friendly for pregnant women. The neighbor may show you a nice store to get baby prams at a low price. Sometimes we need them to be there and listen. They may even help you get through any anxiety or stress you may experience, such as the fear of painful delivery that is very common amongst pregnant women, especially those in the third trimester. 

Online programs and sites

The internet is not always a bad place to seek advice. There’s plenty of programs designed to support pregnant women. There are lots of resources, some posted by the government and others by various web sites with information to answer any questions you may need regarding your pregnancy. All you have to do is reach out.

Some of these internet platforms provide factual information regarding pre and postnatal care. Some may offer to counsel while others give information on specific aspects such as the trimesters, postnatal healing and care and tips to help you handle your baby in the first few days. Others have forums where women participate and give opinions, reviews on products or simply as questions to get answers. You only need to make sure that you are dealing with a reputable source that provides factual and verified information. Also, be careful not to disclose sensitive personal information to strangers who may use it for illegal purposes.

Your partner

The closest source of support ad comfort should be your partner. They should be available to offer all the emotional support you need. If possible, they should be able to take a break from work, even if just a short one, to help you get through the challenging parts of your pregnancy, such as labour. Your partner should also be someone you can talk to whenever you feel tensed all depressed so you can find solutions together and ease your mind.

In conclusion, there are plenty of places you can seek support as you go through your pregnancy. The best place would be amongst women who have been there before. They can share experiences and help you discover tips and tricks to make the whole experience more pleasant. If you feel like you need specialized emotional support, do not be ashamed to consult with a professional. Remember your mental and physical health are paramount for the healthy growth and development of the baby.

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Study links coffee consumption to metabolic health and sex hormones

Despite having a similar body mass index (BMI), individuals with higher coffee consumption had lower total and visceral fat and greater skeletal muscle mass than those who consumed less coffee.

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Coffee is one of the world’s most widely consumed beverages, and previous research has linked its consumption to a lower risk of conditions such as type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease. However, the biological mechanisms behind these benefits remain unclear. A new Finnish study links habitual coffee consumption to healthier body composition and metabolic markers, while revealing distinct associations with sex hormones in men and women.

The study, conducted at the University of Oulu, analysed data from 2,264 participants aged 46 in the Northern Finland Birth Cohort 1966. Researchers examined how habitual coffee consumption was associated with circulating metabolites, cardiometabolic risk markers and sex hormones.

Despite having a similar body mass index (BMI), individuals with higher coffee consumption had lower total and visceral fat and greater skeletal muscle mass than those who consumed less coffee.

In both men and women, higher coffee consumption was correlated with lower circulating levels of branched-chain amino acids, biomarkers that have previously been linked to insulin resistance and an increased risk of type 2 diabetes when chronically elevated.

The strongest sex-specific associations were observed in men. Higher coffee consumption was linked to a more favourable glucose–insulin profile, higher concentrations of total and bioavailable testosterone, and increased levels of sex hormone-binding globulin (SHBG). At the same time, free testosterone and the free androgen index were modestly lower. In women, hormonal associations were more limited and were primarily characterised by higher SHBG and lower measures of free androgens.

“Coffee is consumed by millions of people every day, yet we still know surprisingly little about how it relates to our metabolism and hormones. What stood out in our findings was a distinct hormonal signature that didn’t disappear even after we took into account BMI and lifestyle factors, with several of these associations differing between men and women,” says Luca Verroest, lead author of the study and Doctoral Researcher at the University of Oulu.

The results suggest that hormonal pathways may partly explain the relationship between coffee consumption and metabolic health. However, as this was an observational study, the findings demonstrate associations rather than cause-and-effect relationships.

The study is particularly relevant in Finland, one of the world’s highest coffee-consuming countries, where annual consumption averages around 11.8 kilograms per person.

The researchers say the findings provide a foundation for future studies aimed at determining whether coffee itself drives these biological changes and identifying the compounds responsible. These questions are currently being investigated in animal models, with the long-term goal of progressing to human intervention studies. Further research will be needed before the findings could inform dietary recommendations.

The study, Associations of habitual coffee intake with testosterone and cardiometabolic markers: the Northern Finland Birth Cohort 1966 study, has been published in the European Journal of Nutrition.

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Forget materialism, a simple life is happier: research

The commitment to simple living, or ‘voluntary simplicity’ as it is formally known, leads to wellbeing through providing more opportunities for personal interaction and social connection than conventional contexts of exchange, such as community gardens, sharing resources, and peer-to-peer lending platforms.

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In an age where billionaires and conspicuous consumption are increasingly on display, new Otago-led research shows a simple life really is a happier life.

The study led by University of Otago – Ōtākou Whakaihu Waka Department of Marketing researchers has recently been published in the Journal of Macromarketing.

After setting out to understand the relationship between consumption and wellbeing, the researchers found people are happier and more satisfied when adopting sustainable lifestyles and resisting the temptations of consumerism.

They analysed data from a representative sample of more than 1000 New Zealanders, made up of 51 per cent men and 49 per cent women, with a median age of 45 and a median annual household income of $50,000.

They found the commitment to simple living, or ‘voluntary simplicity’ as it is formally known, leads to wellbeing through providing more opportunities for personal interaction and social connection than conventional contexts of exchange, such as community gardens, sharing resources, and peer-to-peer lending platforms.

Women are more likely to adopt a simple life than men, although more research is needed to understand why.

Co-author Associate Professor Leah Watkins says consumer culture promotes happiness as being typically associated with high levels of income and the capability it affords to acquire and accumulate material possessions.

“However, research is clear that attitudes to, and experiences of, materialistic approaches to life do not lead to increases in happiness or wellbeing. Nor do they lead to sustainable consumption necessary for planetary health.”

Between 2000 and 2019, global domestic material consumption increased by 66 per cent, tripling since the 1970s to reach 95.1 billion metric tons.

Growing consumer affluence and higher living standards have resulted in warnings of alarming trends of environmental degradation from human consumption.

This, coupled with global warming and post-pandemic health and financial anxieties, has led researchers and policymakers to call for a better understanding of the links between simple consumer lifestyles and wellbeing.

But co-author Professor Rob Aitken says this isn’t a case of just throwing out all your worldly possessions.

“It’s not directly the commitment to material simplicity that leads to wellbeing, but the psychological and emotional need fulfilment that derives from relationships, social connection, community involvement and a sense of living a purposeful and meaningful life.

“In a world where billionaire weddings are treated like state occasions and private yachts are the new status symbols, voluntary simplicity offers a quiet, powerful counter-narrative — one that values enough over excess, connection over consumption, and meaning over materialism.”

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Too much for some, just right for me – The truth about dating while plus-size

What is dating like for a plus-size woman? We don’t get the fairytale, the montage-worthy meet-cute in the bookstore, or the sweet swipe-rights with guys who use words like “connection” and “vibes.” What we get is a mixed bag of awkward encounters, accidental comedy, the occasional ghosting, and sometimes, someone who sees us as the whole damn package.

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By: A Curvy Queen Who’s Seen It All

Let me be real with you: dating as a plus-size woman isn’t for the faint of heart. We don’t get the fairytale, the montage-worthy meet-cute in the bookstore, or the sweet swipe-rights with guys who use words like “connection” and “vibes.” What we get is a mixed bag of awkward encounters, accidental comedy, the occasional ghosting, and sometimes, someone who sees us as the whole damn package—not just the size of it.

Photo by @canweallgo from Unsplash.com

I’m 33, a size 20, and I live in a city where everyone seems to be on a green juice cleanse or training for a marathon. My idea of a perfect day includes a cheese board, a crime documentary, and wearing something soft and oversized. I’ve been dating online for years now—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, even a brief stint on Bigger Lover (don’t judge). I’ve had first dates that turned into second dates, and others that ended before the appetizer even came. But through it all, I’ve learned some hard truths about dating while plus-size.

The Fetish Factor

Let’s start with the obvious: there are guys out there who fetishize plus-size women. They love our bodies—but only in private. They send you those thirsty DMs like, “I’ve always had a thing for thick girls.”

I used to think that was a compliment. But it’s not, not when it’s the first thing they lead with, not when you realize they don’t care about your name, your career, or your sense of humor. Just your body.

I once met a guy off Tinder who spent our entire date talking about how much he “loved curves” and how he’d “never dated a big girl before.” He kept asking if I was into feederism (I had to Google it when I got home). I never heard from him again, which was fine—I didn’t need to be someone’s body experiment.

The Grateful Gambit

Then there’s this weird idea that plus-size women are supposed to be grateful for attention, as if someone choosing to date us is some charitable act. It’s subtle sometimes, but oh, it’s there.

I had a guy once tell me, over drinks, “I like girls who are a little bigger. They try harder, you know? They’re just more appreciative.”

I blinked. Tried harder at what? Breathing through my rage?

I wanted to ask him if he’d ever considered that maybe I’m not grateful to be on a date with him either. But instead, I left.

Online Dating – A Love-Hate Situation

The apps are their own beast. My profile is cute, funny, and unapologetically me. I mention that I love bookstores, brunch, and body positivity. I always include full-body pics, because I refuse to trick anyone—but I also refuse to hide.

And still, I get messages like: “You’re actually really pretty for a big girl.”

Sir, would you be willing to grow a personality for someone you really liked?

But it’s not all trash. I’ve had some sweet, genuine conversations and some fun dates. Not every guy is clueless. Some are kind, open, and emotionally intelligent.

The good, the bad, and the big truth

Dating while fat is exhausting. You have to weed through people who want to fix you, people who want to hide you, people who only want to sleep with you, and people who see you as their emotional support girlfriend.

But I’ve also never been more sure of who I am. I’ve learned to ask better questions, to take up space, and to walk away when someone doesn’t see my worth.

I’ve cried after bad dates, yes. I’ve called friends from bathroom stalls and whispered, “Why is this so hard?” But I’ve also danced in my kitchen with someone who made me feel radiant, kissed under streetlights, and been told, with complete sincerity, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

The truth is, being plus-size in the dating world means you see people for who they really are, faster. It forces you to develop an inner filter. You learn to walk away without guilt. And when you do meet someone who loves you not in spite of your size but as a part of your magic? It’s that much sweeter.

So to every plus-size woman out there who’s ever felt invisible, unworthy, or too much: you’re not too much. You might just be too real for the wrong person.

Keep showing up. Keep swiping. And keep loving yourself like you deserve to be loved—because trust me, you absolutely do.

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