NewsMakers
Too much for some, just right for me – The truth about dating while plus-size
What is dating like for a plus-size woman? We don’t get the fairytale, the montage-worthy meet-cute in the bookstore, or the sweet swipe-rights with guys who use words like “connection” and “vibes.” What we get is a mixed bag of awkward encounters, accidental comedy, the occasional ghosting, and sometimes, someone who sees us as the whole damn package.
By: A Curvy Queen Who’s Seen It All
Let me be real with you: dating as a plus-size woman isn’t for the faint of heart. We don’t get the fairytale, the montage-worthy meet-cute in the bookstore, or the sweet swipe-rights with guys who use words like “connection” and “vibes.” What we get is a mixed bag of awkward encounters, accidental comedy, the occasional ghosting, and sometimes, someone who sees us as the whole damn package—not just the size of it.
I’m 33, a size 20, and I live in a city where everyone seems to be on a green juice cleanse or training for a marathon. My idea of a perfect day includes a cheese board, a crime documentary, and wearing something soft and oversized. I’ve been dating online for years now—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, even a brief stint on Bigger Lover (don’t judge). I’ve had first dates that turned into second dates, and others that ended before the appetizer even came. But through it all, I’ve learned some hard truths about dating while plus-size.
The Fetish Factor
Let’s start with the obvious: there are guys out there who fetishize plus-size women. They love our bodies—but only in private. They send you those thirsty DMs like, “I’ve always had a thing for thick girls.”
I used to think that was a compliment. But it’s not, not when it’s the first thing they lead with, not when you realize they don’t care about your name, your career, or your sense of humor. Just your body.
I once met a guy off Tinder who spent our entire date talking about how much he “loved curves” and how he’d “never dated a big girl before.” He kept asking if I was into feederism (I had to Google it when I got home). I never heard from him again, which was fine—I didn’t need to be someone’s body experiment.
The Grateful Gambit
Then there’s this weird idea that plus-size women are supposed to be grateful for attention, as if someone choosing to date us is some charitable act. It’s subtle sometimes, but oh, it’s there.
I had a guy once tell me, over drinks, “I like girls who are a little bigger. They try harder, you know? They’re just more appreciative.”
I blinked. Tried harder at what? Breathing through my rage?
I wanted to ask him if he’d ever considered that maybe I’m not grateful to be on a date with him either. But instead, I left.
Online Dating – A Love-Hate Situation
The apps are their own beast. My profile is cute, funny, and unapologetically me. I mention that I love bookstores, brunch, and body positivity. I always include full-body pics, because I refuse to trick anyone—but I also refuse to hide.
And still, I get messages like: “You’re actually really pretty for a big girl.”
Sir, would you be willing to grow a personality for someone you really liked?
But it’s not all trash. I’ve had some sweet, genuine conversations and some fun dates. Not every guy is clueless. Some are kind, open, and emotionally intelligent.
The good, the bad, and the big truth
Dating while fat is exhausting. You have to weed through people who want to fix you, people who want to hide you, people who only want to sleep with you, and people who see you as their emotional support girlfriend.
But I’ve also never been more sure of who I am. I’ve learned to ask better questions, to take up space, and to walk away when someone doesn’t see my worth.
I’ve cried after bad dates, yes. I’ve called friends from bathroom stalls and whispered, “Why is this so hard?” But I’ve also danced in my kitchen with someone who made me feel radiant, kissed under streetlights, and been told, with complete sincerity, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”
The truth is, being plus-size in the dating world means you see people for who they really are, faster. It forces you to develop an inner filter. You learn to walk away without guilt. And when you do meet someone who loves you not in spite of your size but as a part of your magic? It’s that much sweeter.
So to every plus-size woman out there who’s ever felt invisible, unworthy, or too much: you’re not too much. You might just be too real for the wrong person.
Keep showing up. Keep swiping. And keep loving yourself like you deserve to be loved—because trust me, you absolutely do.
NewsMakers
For weight loss, where food comes from may matter as much as how it is processed
Processed and ultra-processed animal foods tended to track with weight gain, and minimally processed plant foods with weight loss, although these associations were weaker. Ultra-processed plant foods were not associated with weight change.
Eating more meat, fish, eggs, and dairy products was associated with weight gain even when those foods were minimally processed, according to a study from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine published in Nutrition Research. Minimally processed plant foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and beans, showed the opposite pattern.
“Ultra-processed foods get most of the blame for weight gain, but our results suggest we also need to ask whether a food comes from a plant or an animal,” says lead author Hana Kahleova, MD, PhD, director of clinical research at the Physicians Committee. “A chicken breast is minimally processed. So is an apple. In our study, they did not move the scale in the same direction.”
The researchers analyzed data from a randomized crossover trial in which 62 adults with overweight followed a Mediterranean diet, rich in olive oil, fish, and nuts, and a low-fat vegan diet for 16 weeks each, separated by a four-week washout. Participants kept three-day diet records, and every food was classified by degree of processing, using the NOVA system, and by whether it came from a plant or an animal.
Compared with the Mediterranean diet, the vegan diet cut minimally processed animal foods by 135 grams per day more and raised minimally processed plant foods by 202 grams per day more. Processed animal and plant foods also fell more on the vegan diet. Across both diets, eating more minimally processed animal foods was linked to weight gain; this was the strongest association in the analysis and the only one to remain statistically significant after correction for multiple comparisons.
Processed and ultra-processed animal foods tended to track with weight gain, and minimally processed plant foods with weight loss, although these associations were weaker. Ultra-processed plant foods were not associated with weight change.
In the main trial, published in 2022, participants lost an average of 6 kilograms (about 13 pounds) on the vegan diet, with no change on the Mediterranean diet. Minimally processed plant foods are high in fiber and water and low in calorie density, which helps people feel full on fewer calories.
“If you want to lose weight, fill your plate with beans, vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, and leave the animal products off,” says Dr. Kahleova. “The degree of processing still matters, but it is not the whole story.”
NewsMakers
Mindfulness and self-compassion can alleviate premenstrual symptoms
It is estimated that PMS affects approximately 20-30% of menstruating people, while PMDD impacts 3-8%. The scale of the problem is significant, yet the psychological factors that protect against the development of these symptoms have not been thoroughly investigated.
A kind attitude toward oneself and practicing mindfulness can improve functioning in individuals who experience severe premenstrual symptoms, according to a study by psychologists from SWPS University and Jagiellonian University.
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and its more severe form, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), cause distressing psychological and physical symptoms, including mood swings, fatigue, concentration difficulties, headaches, and muscle pain. These ailments occur during the second phase of the menstrual cycle and interfere with daily functioning, affecting education, work, relationships, and overall quality of life.
Up to 30 percent of women affected
It is estimated that PMS affects approximately 20-30% of menstruating people, while PMDD impacts 3-8%. The scale of the problem is significant, yet the psychological factors that protect against the development of these symptoms have not been thoroughly investigated.
The study, published in “Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice”, is part of a broader project analysing potential mechanisms and factors that may protect against the onset of PMS and PMDD. In a new study, Rachela Antosz-Rekucka, PhD, a psychologist at the Institute of Psychology at SWPS University, and Katarzyna Prochwicz, PhD, a professor at the Institute of Psychology of the Jagiellonian University, analysed factors that might protect against the onset of severe premenstrual symptoms. They examined variables such as the sense of coherence, mindfulness skills, and self-compassion, and investigated their relationship with past trauma, perceived stress levels, and symptoms of premenstrual disorders.
The study involved 228 participants aged 18 to 52. They were asked about their past experiences with premenstrual symptoms, and a part of the group subsequently tracked their symptoms over the course of two menstrual cycles.
Self-compassion and mindfulness help alleviate symptoms
The results suggest that higher levels of certain psychological resources can moderate the negative effect of stress and trauma on the severity of menstrual cycle-related symptoms.
Specific psychological attitudes may noticeably reduce the impact of daily stress on the severity of premenstrual symptoms. These include a kind attitude toward oneself and the acceptance of difficult moments, known as self-compassion. This approach helps women to navigate the challenging phases of their cycle more easily, even during times of intense nervous tension, says Rachela Antosz-Rekucka of SWPS University, who conducted the study as part of her doctoral research at the Jagiellonian University.
Practicing mindfulness (directing one’s attention to the present moment without judgment or worry) can also offer relief. In the context of PMS and PMDD, refraining from judging one’s own emotional reactions is particularly helpful, as it prevents the magnification of perceived discomfort. Furthermore, individuals with a strong sense of coherence cope better with rising premenstrual stress.
Past trauma and premenstrual symptoms
For individuals with a history of trauma, the ability to precisely describe their internal states and feelings, combined with the capacity to avoid judging their own emotional reactions, can help mitigate the negative impact of that trauma on premenstrual symptoms.
Psychological resources boost stress resilience
The results of the study could be significant for many people who menstruate. These findings could pave the way for modern therapeutic programs based on approaches such as mindfulness training or self-compassion-focused therapy, potentially reducing the reliance on medication.
The study suggests that more understanding, mindful, and compassionate attitude towards oneself may benefit individuals with severe premenstrual symptoms. PMS and PMDD are chronic conditions, which is why interventions such as mindfulness-based therapy, compassion-focused therapy, or strategies oriented at enhancing the sense of coherence, may help individuals navigate their conditions more effectively, and possibly increase their overall quality of life, Rachela Antosz-Rekucka emphasises.
NewsMakers
Music can enhance the flavor of your food
The brain does not create flavor based solely on signals from the tongue.
The moment we take a sip of our morning coffee or our first bite of lunch, the brain begins interpreting what we taste. Is it sweet? Sour? Or something else entirely?
But the brain does not create flavor based solely on signals from the tongue. That is the finding of a new study from the Department of Food Science, published in the scientific journal Scientific Reports.
“When music reaches the ears at the same time as we are eating, we can see that the brain responds more strongly than when taste is experienced without music,” says first author and postdoctoral researcher Alberte Baggesgaard Seeberg from the Department of Food Science.
Using brain scans, the researchers show that music can activate some of the same brain regions involved in processing taste.
“This tells us that flavour is not simply a property of food. Flavor is an experience created by the brain,” says senior author and associate professor Janice Wang.
A breakthrough in brain imaging
This is the first time researchers have used brain imaging to show what happens in the brain when it processes taste. In the study, they used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), which measures activity in different parts of the brain by detecting changes in blood flow.
“This allows us to move beyond simply asking people about their experiences, which has been the approach in previous studies. With brain scans, we gain a biological window into what happens when the senses interact,” says Alberte Baggesgaard Seeberg.
While participants lay in the scanner, their brain activity was measured under different conditions. In some cases, they listened only to music. In others, they tasted flavor solutions. In some trials, music and taste were presented simultaneously. This enabled the researchers to compare how the brain responds to sound and taste separately and in combination.
The results clearly showed that certain brain regions were more active when participants listened to music while tasting one of the two flavor solutions.
“We can see that flavor is constructed by the brain and not only by the taste buds. What determines flavor is not limited to what happens on the tongue. It emerges through the integration of multiple senses,” says Janice Wang.
The findings build on previous studies showing that music can enhance particular taste perceptions. For example, slow pop music with harmonious tones may enhance sweetness. Until now, however, this has only been investigated through behavioral studies in which participants rated flavours with and without music.
Shaping flavor experiences could improve wellbeing
According to the researchers, the new knowledge could be used to design better eating experiences in a range of settings, including restaurants, canteens and hospitals.
“For people who are at risk of malnutrition, something as simple as music could potentially improve the eating experience. There is a great deal we can do, often at very little cost, to improve quality of life for some people,” says Alberte Baggesgaard Seeberg.
Janice Wang is pleased that, after many years of research into flavour and sensory perception, the team can now present biological evidence of how the senses interact.
“We now have a new way of influencing flavor perception, creating a better meal experience and potentially a better overall experience, without necessarily changing the food itself,” she says.
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