Spotlight
Accept grief amid COVID-19 pandemic
Here are four suggestions that can help people to cope with current events.

As the COVID-19 pandemic upends life as people know it, changing daily routines, limiting social interactions and shaking their sense of safety, a mental health experts from US hospital Cleveland Clinic’s Mellen Center is stressing that it is perfectly acceptable to feel sad about all of it.
She points out that grief is a natural response to loss – whether it is the loss of a loved one, or the loss of a sense of normalcy.
“We are experiencing a lot of disappointment right now — in both small and big ways — and grief is going to be a factor,” says clinical health psychologist Amy Sullivan, PsyD, ABPP.
“It’s really important that we process this and stay connected to other people in safe ways,” she adds.
Regarding how people should go about dealing with all of these difficult and unexpected feelings bubbling up, she says there is no right or wrong way. However, she offers four suggestions that can help people to cope with current events.
1. Look through the lens of grief and process emotions
She says that the stages of grief can provide a helpful framework for navigating these complex emotions. Experts recognize these stages as denial, anger, bargaining, despair, and acceptance. However, these experts also know that people do not step neatly from one stage to the next in this exact order, she says.
“Grief can come in waves and change on a very regular basis. Our feelings can change on a daily, or even an hourly, basis,” she explains.
Dr. Sullivan adds it is normal to go from feeling despair one day to anger the next.
“The first thing we need to do is to recognize that it is normal to have these waves of emotions that are happening on a regular basis,” Dr. Sullivan says.
Next, she says, acknowledge the loss whether it is knowing or losing someone with COVID-19, losing jobs, missing friends or family.
“Those are all very sad, difficult things for people to manage,” Dr. Sullivan says.
“Feel what you are feeling — whether it is being overwhelmed, anxious, powerless or anything else, it can help to identify and name these emotions,” she advises.
“It can be quite powerful to sit with those feelings for a few moments — to really recognize those emotions and normalize them,” she says.
However, she advises people to set a time limit on this, suggesting they give themselves five minutes to feel that emotion, and then move on to something that they know is a positive coping skill for them.
“It is important for us to accept where our feelings are at the moment and process through them, and then move into a more positive position of acceptance,” she says.
She says this can be done by identifying their own best coping mechanisms
“This is a time when people need to become innovative and develop their own individual sense of coping that works for them during this time,” she says. Examples might include deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, journaling, talking with another person, or going for a walk.
“If it comes to a point where someone cannot handle these feelings on their own, they need to seek mental health help,” Dr. Sullivan says.
2. Fight the urge to disengage
Dr. Sullivan stresses that staying connected is a powerful tool for coping during hard times. Whether that comes in the form of video chatting or sending a good old-fashioned letter, staying in touch with family, friends, neighbors and coworkers can help people to keep a positive attitude, she says.
She adds that many trained mental and behavioral health professionals are currently seeing patients through virtual visits, so that if people are having trouble coping, this could be a solution.
3. Focus on what can be controlled
Dr. Sullivan says that when there is so much uncertainty about the future, it is easy for people to get carried away, playing out the worst-case scenarios in their heads, for example worrying about themselves or someone else getting COVID-19, or wondering if things will ever get back to normal.
“Anticipating negative events can bring a sense of anxiety or fear,” Dr. Sullivan says.
She advises that, instead of agonizing over the things that cannot be known or controlled, people should be aware of what they do have control over. For example, they can choose how much news or social media they consume in a day, and they can decide what they eat. She recommends being mindful about these choices, and focusing on staying in the present.
4. Be open to joy
Lastly, Dr. Sullivan advises people to find joy and gratitude in the small things, like a video chat with family members, or the rush of fresh air when they open a window or step outside. She adds that if they are under a lockdown order, they can find ways to appreciate the opportunity to step back from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and being home.
NewsMakers
Signs of a Healthy Marriage
Although there are many different ways to define a healthy marriage, these three qualities are essential for any lasting and fulfilling relationship.

A healthy marriage is built on trust, respect, and communication. Couples with these qualities in their relationship tend to be more satisfied with their marriage and overall life. They also report feeling closer to their partner and having stronger well-being. With 2.3 out of every 1000 people in the US experiencing divorce in 2022, it is important to frequently check in on the health of your marriage.
Although there are many different ways to define a healthy marriage, these three qualities are essential for any lasting and fulfilling relationship.
Signs of a Healthy Marriage
A healthy marriage is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. If you and your partner can effectively communicate and share a mutual level of respect, then your relationship is off to a good start. Trust is also important in a healthy marriage, as it allows you and your partner to feel secure in your relationship and rely on each other.
Many other signs can indicate whether or not a marriage is healthy. For example, couples who can spend quality time together and enjoy shared activities usually do well. Couples who can openly discuss their relationship with each other and work through difficulties together are also more likely to have a happy and healthy marriage. Finally, marriages, where both partners feel like they can be themselves without judgment from their spouse tend to be the strongest and most lasting.

Freedom to be yourself
In a healthy marriage, partners feel free to be themselves. They don’t have to put on a facade or pretend to be someone they’re not. They can be open and honest with each other and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and desires.
Both partners should pursue their interests and hobbies without compromising or sacrificing for the sake of the relationship. There’s no need to agree on everything – in fact, it’s healthy to have some separate interests – but overall, both partners should feel like they’re able to be true to themselves within the relationship.

Lots of good communication
In a healthy marriage, partners can communicate effectively. It means expressing needs and wants and listening and responding to what the other person is saying. There are mutual respect’s opinions, even if there are disagreements. Couples in a healthy marriage feel comfortable communicating with each other about both the good and the bad.

Good sex life
A good sex life can be a major sign of a healthy marriage. A lack of sexual activity can be an early warning sign that something is wrong in the relationship. Often, couples who have a good sex life are more connected emotionally and physically. They are also more likely to trust each other and communicate openly.

Trust in each other
In any relationship, trust is essential. Without trust, there is no foundation for the relationship to grow. In a marriage, trust is even more important. Trusting your spouse means you feel confident in their ability to support you emotionally and financially. It also means that you feel safe sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with them.
When you trust your spouse, you know they have your best interests. You feel comfortable being yourselves around each other and sharing your hopes, dreams, and fears. Openness and honesty in your relationship allow you to be vulnerable with each other. This vulnerable honesty creates a deeper level of intimacy in your marriage.
When you trust each other, you can be more forgiving when mistakes are made. You know that everyone makes mistakes and that nobody is perfect. You also understand that your spouse is human and capable of making mistakes like anyone else. If they make a mistake, you are more likely to forgive them because you know they are sorry and will try not to make the same mistake again.
Trust is one of the most important foundations of a healthy marriage. If you want your marriage to thrive, build trust in each other.
A successful, strong marriage takes work, but with communication, trust, respect, vulnerability, and affection as its core components, you can together create a partnership that will be long-lasting.
NewsMakers
5 Tips when buying life insurance for the first time
A knowledgeable and professional insurance agent can offer trusted guidance when it comes to finding the right life insurance protection at the right price.

Major life changes like getting married, starting a family or buying a house are often when people start thinking about buying life insurance. Now, more than ever, people are more concerned with their financial security. Buying a life policy can be a process that sounds intimidating or confusing – but it’s also very important.
During this Life Insurance Awareness Month, Erie Insurance shares five points to discuss with your agent when buying life insurance for the first time.
- Understand who (or what) you are protecting. While anyone experiencing a significant life event like getting married or starting a family often recognizes the need for life insurance, others may not realize they could benefit from it as well. For instance, stay-at-home parents and student loan cosigners could have a definite need for life insurance.
- Only buy the life insurance plan you can afford. Many people are surprised at how much life insurance they really need to protect the people and things they love most – but they are also surprised at how affordable it can be. If you cannot find a policy that fits in your budget, it’s a mistake to forgo any coverage at all. Something is definitely better than nothing.
- Think through your beneficiaries. A life insurance beneficiary is the person or entity you name in your life policy to receive funds in the event of your passing. Your beneficiary can be a person, business, trust, charity or even your church. And you can have more than one. It’s important to make sure you think through who your beneficiaries are and if any proceeds meant to benefit a minor should be held in a trust.
- Buy from a financially sound company. You want the backing of a financially strong insurer if you or someone you love needs to call on the life insurance policy. A.M. Best, the largest and longest-established company devoted to issuing in-depth reports and financial strength ratings about insurance organizations, gave Erie Family Life Insurance Company a rating of A (Excellent).
- Consider current and future needs. Don’t just consider your current lifestyle, keep in mind your future needs and what those could include for your spouse, children or business (think college expenses, weddings, etc.). By taking in these considerations today, you’re investing in the security of your future. Life insurance is less expensive than most people think—and that’s especially true when you’re younger.
A knowledgeable and professional insurance agent can offer trusted guidance when it comes to finding the right life insurance protection at the right price. Life insurance with Erie Family Life offers you the right coverage with flexible options, helping you to build a policy now that is adaptable later.
NewsMakers
Online menus should put healthy food first
Women who see healthy food at the top of an online menu are 30 to 40 percent more likely to order it, a Flinders University study has found, with the authors saying menu placement could play a role in encouraging healthier eating.

Women who see healthy food at the top of an online menu are 30 to 40 percent more likely to order it, a Flinders University study has found, with the authors saying menu placement could play a role in encouraging healthier eating.
Published in the journal Appetite and led by Flinders University PhD Candidate Indah Gynell, the team investigated where on a menu healthy items should be placed to best encourage people to choose them.
“Previous research has explored menu placement before, but the studies were inconsistent, with some finding placing food items at the top and bottom of a menu increased their popularity, while others suggested that the middle is best,” said Ms Gynell from Flinders’ College of Education, Psychology and Social Work.
“In our study we compared three locations on both printed and online menus, with online being an important addition in the age of food ordering platforms, such as UberEats and Menulog, especially during the pandemic.”
The researchers created menus containing eight unhealthy items and four healthy items, arranged in three rows of four on the physical printed menu and in one column of 12 on the digital menu. In one study, the physical menu was tested on 172 female participants, while in the second study, the digital menu was tested on 182 female participants.
Female participants were chosen as previous research has found that dieting behaviours – likely to impact menu choice – are consistently more prevalent in women.
Participants then chose an item from one of the experimental menus before completing a psychological test that identified their ‘dietary restraint status’; that is whether or not they were actively choosing to restrict their eating habits for the purpose of health or weight loss.
“We found that neither the order of food items, nor participants’ dietary restraint status, impacted whether or not healthy food was chosen in the physical menus,” says Ms Gynell.
“However, for the online menus, we found that participants who saw healthy items at the top of an online menu were 30-40% more likely to choose a healthy item than those who viewed them further down the menu.”
The authors say the finding is important because if added up over time, consistent healthy choices could result in general health benefits at a population level, highlighting why such an intervention could be worth implementing.
“Diet-related illnesses and disease are more common now than ever before, and with a rise in online food ordering it’s important we uncover cost-effective and simple public health initiatives,” says Ms Gynell.
“Changing the order of a menu, which doesn’t require the addition or removal of items, is unlikely to impact profits as consumers are guided towards healthier options without being discouraged from purchasing altogether.
“This means it’s more likely to be accepted by food purveyors and, despite being a somewhat simple solution, has the potential to shape real-world healthy eating interventions.”
The effect of item placement on snack food choices from physical and online menus by Indah Gynell, Eva Kemps, Ivanka Prichard and Marika Tiggemann is published in the journal Appetite.
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